Much has happened. Initially when thinking about what I would write today, the only thing I could think of was the deflated “my life is changing” theme that has been visited so many times before. Of course my life is changing–who has a life that doesn’t?!
Quite simply, change has exhausted me. Now, though this is my own form of publication I will refrain from any petty complaints I think might be worth sharing and just state that I am learning, very slowly, (probably in the pace of a three toed sloth crossing the road), I know better comes. What I find most difficult is relenting my spoiled brat tendencies and trusting and resting in a better I had not come up with in my own depraved yet redeemed mind.
I think post-New Year, Winter sucks. Yes, it has it’s redeeming qualities (the first snow, the layers of clothing, scalding hot beverages to melt your esophagus, etc), but come February I am so over it that I am ready to pack on thirty pounds just to spite my resolutions and run around in spandex shorts to even further the disturbing and prideful illustration of rebellion. (I haven’t actually done any of those things, but for dramatic effect I just decided to consider it an option for 2009). I do have a point about this Winter thing, though.
I see the changing of the seasons so closely paralleled with our own inherent desire for restoration. Yes, there is a point in the cold winter months that the wind has blown tears out of your eyes and frozen them onto your cheeks, or the bottom of your pants are caked with snow and frozen, and the snow is gray, but we keep going because it we’re assured the changing of seasons and we know it has to melt. Life starts all over, and we love the opportunity to begin differently. Even a person that doesn’t believe in God rests in the confidence and certainty that the next season will follow.
I am thankful for how quiet the world is when snow has fallen, and how everyone is excused to slow down and just be small. It is in the slowness that we are forced to face our compromised circumstances, our detrimental distractions, and reevaluate why we’re doing any of it. I am thankful God loves me so much as to not let me remain so easily satisfied for second best.
This turned into a “changing” harangue without realizing it. If we really do write what we know, this might be the only thing I know right now. I don’t ever want to know complacency intimately, so for this I consider myself richly blessed.
I wrote these words for everyone
Who struggles in their youth
Who won’t accept deception
Instead of what is truth
It seems we lose the game,
Before we even start to play
Who made these rules? We’re so confused
Easily led astray
Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually
-Lauryn Hill
So a post called “Sleigh Ride” in October was different.
Change indeed comes eventually. This can be both a joyous occasion and a sad one, depending on if the change is wanted or not. But you’re right, it comes, whether we like it or note. Thanks for the post. Also, I loved that you used the word ‘harangue’. You are my new hero.